Many people see recent events as reason to believe we are living in Earth's final days. Much of it is creative prophecy interpretation, and some is just profiteering by taking advantage of well-meaning people looking for something to believe in. I don't buy into a lot of the end-times arguments, but I do think I have seen the coming apocalypse. Social networking will be the reason the world eventually stops spinning around.
Many people see recent events as reason to believe we are living in Earth's final days.
Much of it is creative prophecy interpretation, and some is just profiteering by taking advantage of well-meaning people looking for something to believe in.
I don't buy into a lot of the end-times arguments, but I do think I have seen the coming apocalypse.
Social networking will be the reason the world eventually stops spinning around.
Facebook has led people to gin up platitudes and over-the-top emotional outpourings for any number of worthless causes and ideas.
Yes, your daughter is the best. Why don't you give her a big old hug?
I do want to fly my Facebook flag since it is Labor Day. Nothing says overt patriotism like taking off work and going to the lake.
Facebook has some really good points. We live at least three hours from our nearest family member. Keeping up with their children and letting them keep up with ours is great.
You do stay better connected to old friends.
But generic "happy birthday" wishes from people who are trying to remember whether they went to high school with you don't make society better. Photos of women who think they look good in a bathroom mirror, in their car with a new hairdo or with a pouty face or their tongues hanging out don't improve anyone's life.
And Twitter. Don't get me started on Twitter. People used to chime in. Now they tweet. Honestly, anything you can say in less than 140 characters is probably of little value. In honor of this phenomenon/fad/apocalyptical signpost I will finish this column by tweeting it.
Let's take a look at some issues from today in 140 characters or less.
Facebook is the Devil
A New Jersey pastor told his flock to delete Facebook pages because it leads to adultery. It doesn't help, but Facebook is just one reason.
Don't be a devil on Facebook
Don't cuss on your Facebook status updates. Also refrain from personal attacks online. Keep your ignorance a secret. Don't share it with us.
I also hate it when someone only quotes partial Bible verses on Facebook. Twitter? Maybe. But you have room on Facebook. Don't proof text.
Forget more things
Another Facebook felony is listing every mundane household activity or EVER saying, "It's Friday." If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
Twitter makes you dumb
I hate it when people use "2" to mean "to" and "&" to mean "and" in tweets. Did you really save that much room? Use two tweets. We'll be patient.
Royal wedding woes
Many love England's Royals. But with a bad economy, they are sick of spending time on one embarrassing family. Harry's wedding is causing a stir.
Real tabloid journalism
British tabloids are funny. They cover women being good-looking like it is news. I'm glad I don't live in England. Should I be more mellow?
Sticks and stones
Did you see the video of the Russian goons beating up a journalist and smashing his fingers? I guess a letter to the editor wasn't enough.
No habla espanol
I'm also glad I don't live in Mexico. They can't keep the police safe from drug cartels. Journalists are just target practice.
Best blog going
Stuff Christians Like (http://stuffchristianslike.net/) is one of the best blogs you can read online. It is thoughtful, sarcastic and fun.
Welcome back, Nancy
I thought Nancy Pelosi was in denial when she said, "We didn't lose because of me." I guess it was contagious. Way to go, House Democrats.
Sexiest man alive?
Ryan Reynolds won People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive? How do I keep getting overlooked by the committee? What a pity. Was that a poetweet?
That's so feminine
The American Family Association's Bryan Fischer says the Medal of Honor is feminized because a hero saved lives and didn't take them. Idiot!
I need more room
I must expand on Bryan Fischer being an idiot. If braving gunfire and rescuing a soldier being taken prisoner is feminine, I'll get a skirt.
Bear with the bears
Fischer also said grizzlies kill humans so we should kill all the grizzlies. He really likes killing things. He must feel so masculine.
A real wordsmith?
Eagles teammate said Michael Vick's play was due to a tussle with Redskins. "We were like pit bulls ready to get out of a cage." Exactly!
I can. You can't.
Don't parade your kids on the campaign trail and various reality shows and then say, "kids are off limits" when someone talks about them.
Time to stop
It is hard to express a thought in 140 characters. Twitter may be art, but I don't really like art. I can't draw or sing. I can barely write.
You can follow me on Twitter @kentbush. But consider yourself warned. I only have 50 followers because I had more tweets in this column than I have in my entire history on Twitter.
Kent Bush is publisher of the Augusta (Kan.) Gazette.