Notes and comments from all over, in no particular order:

Notes and comments from all over, in no particular order:


- A news story reported that a Virginia brewery is producing a brand of beer called “Saturday Morning IPA” that tastes like the breakfast cereal “Lucky Charms.”


When my kids were little, they loved Lucky Charms. Problem was, they’d pour out the box of cereal, eat the marshmallow bits, then pour the remaining cereal back in the box.


(When I wrote about this in the local paper, folks stopped me around town to tell me their kids did the same thing. You can write all the columns you want about taxes and politics and never hear a word from readers. But if your kids pick the marshmallows bits out of Lucky Charms, folks stop you on the street. Go figure.)


I don’t know where this trend of making beer taste like other things got started, but I’m four-square against it. I don’t want blueberries in my beer. Or lemonade. Or grapefruit. Or (God forbid) pumpkin spice.


As Valley Girls used to say in the 1980s, “Gag me with a spoon.”


Beer should taste like Blatz.


What we really need is not a beer that tastes like cereal, but a cereal that tastes like BEER.


- When are we going to stop this time change madness? Figuring out how to change digital clocks in our cars, computers and microwaves; being an hour late or early for stuff; dogs that can’t understand why the heck dinner is an hour early or late – the craziness never ends. And to what end? Farmers don’t have headlights on their tractors?


A radio host in Chicago used to announce every fall that it was time to “fall forward,” and every spring to “spring back.” And every time, gullible folks would call in to tell him he had it backwards. And he would argue with them. It was very funny.


Out here in Wyoming, a bill failed in the legislature this year that would have killed the time change, but only if our neighboring states did the same. Making it dependent on other states was weak sauce. Who cares what our neighboring states are doing?


Let’s kill the time-change turkey outright.


- An ad on television urges us to call some law firm if we are suffering from a “flesh-eating genital infection.”


I don’t know about you, but if I was suffering from a flesh-eating genital infection, I wouldn’t be waiting around for some ad on television to tell me what to do. I wouldn’t be watching television. I’d be looking for a DOCTOR, not a lawyer.


(My other favorite TV ad is the one offering a “free catheter sample pack.” Talk about fun!)


- As this is being written, rumor has it that the long-awaited Mueller Report could be released at any moment.


If this report doesn’t accuse President Trump of hoodwinking us into voting for him, playing footsie with Putin, and other dastardly deeds, what happens to all the people who so desperately want this report to be the key to impeaching Trump? Psychologists, therapy dogs, Play-Doh and safe spaces should be on hand to deal with the mass hysteria.


If this isn’t the smoking gun to get Trump, it will be like Ralphie not getting his Red Rider BB gun for Christmas.


- Would it be too much to ask the president’s staff to let him know that the phrase is “from sea to SHINING sea,” not “from sea to SHINEY sea?” I like the guy, and what he’s done for our country, but shouldn’t someone on his staff tell him?


- Someone should also break it to former Colorado Gov. Hickenlooper, who has jumped into the race for president (no “hat in the ring” cliches here), that there will never be a President Hickenlooper. Just like there was never going to be a President Huckabee. It’s not fair, but their names just don’t fit with the job.


How long would it take for the word “Loopy” to show up on bumper stickers?


A name change might be in order.


- And lastly, I see they want to make “break dancing” an Olympic event in 2024. (Oh boy.)


If break dancing is coming back, can parachute pants and fish ties be far behind?