No need to beat yourself up
Ernie was a handful. He gave his kindergarten teacher fits. In fact, Mrs. Smith had to place him in a "time-out" seat at least once nearly every day.
After awhile, Ernie noticed that. So one day he walked into the classroom and rather than go to his desk, he headed straight for the time-out chair.
"Why, Ernie, why are you sitting over there?" Mrs. Smith asked.
"Oh," Ernie said, "I knew I'd be here sooner or later anyway so I thought I'd save you the trouble and just send myself here."
Have you ever felt like that? Are you a Christian, but see yourself as guilty much of the time? It doesn't have to be that way.
When one comes to Jesus Christ for forgiveness of sins, we're given that: forgiveness of sins. All sins.
Ephesians 1:4 says God "chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him."
Holy and without blame before God. That's how God sees you, if you've received Jesus as your Savior.
In fact, God pronouncing you as being holy and without blame before Him is both a reason and a result of God choosing you, according to Ephesians 1:4. He saved you at least partially to make you holy and give you right standing before Him. He didn't save you to force you to obey Him and then have you continually see yourself as guilty before Him.
So why do we sometimes feel so unholy? There are two reasons, at least:
1) Sin pricks our consciences, telling us we did wrong. (But that should be a good thing, leading us to confess our sin and enjoy God’s forgiveness).
2) Satan promotes guilt. Because he's the "accuser of the brethren," (Revelations 12:10), he continually accuses Christians before God. At the same time, he promotes bad feelings within us.
When either of these two things happen, though, don't give up. Fight those feelings with the truth of God's word. God says Christians are "holy and without blame before Him."
Which will you choose: His truth, or Satan's lie? Your joy depends on how you answer that question.
"And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight."