I’m losing my wife to a health guru. Recently, I noticed the signs: the gazing at magazine covers in supermarkets, the little name drops in conversations, the sudden interest in new activities and the change in eating habits.
I’m losing my wife to a health guru.
Recently, I noticed the signs: the gazing at magazine covers in supermarkets, the little name drops in conversations, the sudden interest in new activities and the change in eating habits.
Over the past few decades, I’ve survived the endless bombardment of these gurus with their Johnny Come Lately schemes, fast talk, positive attitudes and quick-fix plans on every problem known to mankind.
Go ahead, sit on Oprah’s couch and let all your emotion out. Tell Dr. Phil what’s up with your marriage. Read this book to make all your financial troubles vanish so you can retire in the Cayman Islands. Bring the Super Nanny into your home to repair those fractured parent-children relationships.
Nope, these body snatcher invaders couldn’t touch me.
Now comes Dr. Oz.
After receiving a scare over high blood pressure, my wife wanted to start turning her life around. After all, we’re entering our mid-40s and aren’t the spring chickens we used to be.
She started scheduling doctor appointments to get her vital signs and everything else checked out. Then she decided to start buying food that makes us all – or at least me -- go hungry. Next the exercise went into attack mode, starting with the treadmill and moving on to three-mile treks outdoors.
My 7-year-old son has fallen victim, too.
He’s suddenly became calorie conscious, often asking whether what he’s eating is healthy and wondering how many calories are in various foods. Even the Swedish Fish candy his mother bought for him is low in calories.
I just can’t compete with this Dr. Oz.
My wife has bought magazines with the good doctor on the cover. She then bought his book on healthy living. And she’s now caught up in his television show, so much so that when I came home Thursday and said hello, I got no response.
No wonder, Dr. Oz was on the tube.
I’m now getting the full-court press to join the program. Obviously, I’m not eating as healthy as I should be at my age (although I did have oatmeal last Sunday). But am I ready to cave in?
Dr. Oz may offer the “Ten Commandments on Weight Loss” with lots of charm and a great smile. I’ll admit, he’s a handsome guy. But do I need to give up certain foods especially when corned beef and cabbage are staring at me for St. Patrick’s Day Wednesday? Or do I need to shape up so I can compete with Dr. Oz for my wife’s attention?
Forget deciding whether to eat healthy. This is a much more difficult choice.
Dino F. Ciliberti is the editor of the Taunton Daily Gazette. Contact him at email@example.com